TakeMeAway...

Okay, I'm not pregnant which is a load off my mind. I spent the week worrying about putting my life on hold and wondering whether I could afford it! But since I'm not I can stop stressing and get on with my life.
I'm looking for a new flat - around my local area this time! Since I've got home the atmosphere has been a little tense as my grandparents got used to having their own space again and I was used to being independant so there has been major clashes! I can't wait to have my own place again! The sooner the better!

Over the past 6 months or so I haven't really been myself and I think it's about time I got back to who I am! This illness has completely ruled my life for 3 years and I want some control back; I want to feel able to relax and have fun again. I've decided to go back to college in January for definate to do Music Business and then again in September to do my HEFC's in Psychology, Engligh Lit and Lang.
There's a lot I want to do with my life and I'm not sure whether I could fit it all in! My ideal and dream job is owning a music promotions company and then a record label. My ideal back up job would be something in psychology which I may do at university. Other things I would love to do are: dancing again, acting, singing, be in a band, be a writer, a teacher. I'm not sure!

Is there enough time in life to do everything?

Terrified...

Okay, well a lot has happened since the last time I wrote in here. I moved in with my boyfriend and then he slept with someone else on my birthday in our bed so I moved back home. Now - and I don't care who thinks I'm an idiot for this - I am back with him. To be honest, no one is perfect and yes he slept with someone else...once...one night stand...not for months on end which would be ten times worse! He spent months begging me to take him back, depressed saying that he had wrecked the best thing he had so eventually as I still loved him I agreed to take him back. It is still hard now as I'm still getting over things but now our relationship is so much better and stronger than it has ever been! I think to be honest it took a big shock to both of us (me; him cheating...him; losing me) to make us realise what we had and to always make the most of it!

But that's old news now. I am happy and that's all that matters! I am terrified now though...I may be pregnant! My boyfriend is being very supportive about the whole thing and I'm off to the doctors tomorrow to find out for sure and to be honest I'm not sure which result I want the most. If I am pregnant the one thing I am most scared of is morning sickness...DAMN EMETOPHOBIA!! I wish I knew people who had the same phobia and went through pregnancy so I would know what to expect.

But I am finding out for sure tomorrow...so I will announce the result then! Please cross your fingers for me...I'm sooo scared!