"We'll scream loud at the top of our lungs,
And they'll think it's just 'cause we're young,
And we'll feel so alive!"
"Throw it away, forget yesterday,
"We'll make the great escape!
We won't hear a word they say,
They don't know us anyway!"
"Watch it burn,
Let it die,
'Cause we are finally free tonight!"
A lot has happened in my life over the past few months. I have now moved out! I live with Tony in a gorgeous one bedroom flat in Tynemouth and I have never been happier with our relationship. Yes we have our arguments, a few minor hiccups...but they all get sorted out quickly! I know we haven't been together that long (6 months to be precise!) but I guess when you know it's right...it's right! I feel so free living away from the family...more freedom and privacy which is a definate bonus! Financial issues get a little stressful but it's nothing that Tony and I can't handle together.
Also... I am now brunette! I got bored of being blonde as I have been for my entire life and decided I needed a change so voila...a head of short (very dark!) brown hair which I completely adore! I still don't recognise myself in the mirror but I'll definately get used to it.
My ex (the guy who I spent years of my life being completely obsessed with) has now settled down with his girlfriend Amy and I am so happy for him! To be honest, knowing the sort of person he is, I never expected him to have enough maturity to settle down anytime soon but hey...when I'm wrong I'm wrong! They've just got a small flat together down in Billingham, Middlesbrough which is apparently lovely and the more I think about it the more I realise something...rather her than me! I really can't believe I was soooo obsessed...I mean what's the big deal with him?!
I don't think I should go on one of THOSE rants at the moment though...I'll never stop!
Job hunting at this present time is a complete nightmare and being out of work is so boring! I haven't been promoting much lately. I was too busy settling into the new flat and sorting out financial issues so I'm a little out of the loop with all of that. Must work hard to get back into it!!!
I think the only thing that is getting in the way of my new found happiness and my new exciting life is my health...
My illness has came back with a vengance! Feeling sick all day and night is driving me crazy! I don't really sleep anymore which isn't helped by my insomnia and the sickness is definately made worse as I have a phobia of being sick...emetophobia I think it's called. I'm debating on getting hypnotherapy to try and rid myself of my phobia as I don't want it to rule my whole life like it is doing at the moment! To be honest I am a little scared about this...I don't know what is wrong with me and neither does the doctors or the hospital so I have to get a lot of random tests done to find out whats causing it all! I just want rid of it! I want to be able to live my life like a normal person without worrying about whether I'm going to feel sick when I go to a certain place or do a certain thing; it drives me crazy!
A massive upside is that it is my birthday soon :) 30th August to be exact! Tony is treating me to a few things. This Monday he is taking me to see my favourite unsigned band the 'Little Comets' and I can't wait for that! Then on 28th August we're off to Edinburgh Zoo for the day followed by going to see Calvun Harris play in September! So I think it's going to be a pretty enjoyable birthday!
I have two new goals...
1) To tone up and achieve my perfect body by the time I'm 21 (giving myself just over a year!)
2) To drive by the time I'm 21 also.
I think they are pretty achievable goals...
I don't hate my body but I definately feel as if I have to make a few improvements - even though Tony loves me just the way I am! I need to feel happy within myself :)
I'm sooo close to passing my driving test...I just need the money to get back to my driving lessons so I will pass sometime soon and hopefully first time!
I'm also debating on taking a home-learning course in Psychology so I can work whilst completing it and then follow up with University...something I should've done years ago! I'm looking forward to that but again I need to save some money first...maybe I'll be ready to start the course in a few months time.
So yes...all in all it's been quite eventful lately...not so much exciting but definately eventful!
"You are worth a hundred thousand miles!"
