It's all about the first night and last, some people say...well I love you so much more tonight, more than yesterday ♥
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I honestly never thought I would get over my ex. I mean look at my last blog entry here! I ran to him as soon as he asked for me...pretty pathetic to be honest.
Well I did go down to see him and at first it was amazing if not a little arkward but I was definately enjoying myself. We just acted the way we always had...making fun of eachother, joking around, play fights and tearing eachothers clothes off (well it was bound to happen!). Everything was great until he asked me one thing...he asked for me back and for the first time in 5 years I hesistated. Me! The girl who has been obsessed with him for years! Something just came over me, a realisation i think. I started to realise that maybe he wasn't this amazing guy who deserved all of the adoring attention and that he really didn't treat me right so for a few hours I stayed quiet...not knowing what my answer should be.
In the end I said yes...I think it was what I thought I felt for him that won me over. I think I had been living in some sort of a dream world about what our relationship had been because as soon as we were 'officially together' he just went straight back to how he was the last time I was with him (which I hated!). I was fine about being back with being with him but not great which was weird as all I had been talking about in the months leading up to this was what I would do for just one more chance to be his. It wasn't until I got back home that I realised I just couldn't do this anymore. The risk of getting hurt again was too big and he wasn't doing anything with his life and to be honest...I don't think he ever will! He has never had the motivation to really make something of himself and I think I deserve someone a little better than that.
The upside is that I have found that someone else! And it wasn't who I was expecting! I have known him for years...well I say known him but really I didn't...I just went to school with him. I used to have a massive crush on him and apparently the feeling was always mutual. It was pretty random. He asked me for a drink and as soon as we saw eachother we just clicked and it was like we'd been together forever!
People always say when you meet the right guy you just know. And up until recently I thought I knew who that person was but now...now I really do know. Its just a feeling deep inside which is incredibly hard to explain. He is everything that a guy should be; amazing personality, cheeky, great sense of humour, protective, caring, honest, good looking (you might say that isn't important but admit it...it is! If your not attracted it doesn't work!), faithful, trusting...I could go on and on.
So I've been living on cloud 9 lately and I've never been happier!
I just feel like the luckiest girl in the world. All it takes is for me to wake up in the morning, roll over and see his face and it brightens my day.
Corny...yes...but I don't care!
